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Satire Story

Note: In Josh's 11th grade English class, students read Jane Austen's novel, Pride and Prejudice (English novelist, 1775 - 1817), and one of writing styles they were learning dealt with different forms of satire (exaggeration, incongruity, reversal, and parody). If you know the novel and the characters, his references will make more sense.

In his story, Josh reveals his wit and humor on romance stories, but in real life, he had great respect for the institution or marriage and women.


Love Stories

D.C. --- The President signed a bill today outlawing love stories after growing complaints about their negative impact on health. This comes after the forty-second death this year confirmed to have been linked to the excessive reading of romantic literature.

Blidia Austin, 14, died last week after reading 27 chapters of Pride and Prejudice late Tuesday or early Wednesday. Blidia was assigned the book by her inexperienced English teacher. "I told Blidia not to go to sleep until she had finished the assigned chapters, "Swacy Austin told the Associated Press. "But [Wednesday] morning, she wouldn't wake up."

An autopsy revealed the prideprejudicetomoa was the cause of her death.

"This fatal condition was proven years ago to be linked with love novels," the surgeon general said in a press conference earlier today. "I'm glad that Mr. Obama finally got around to taking my advice. It's unfortunate, however, that these recent events were required to convince him to take action."

The new law will ban the publication and printing of romance novels in the US. Another bill that will require libraries to destroy those books and outlaw their import is pending approval from the senate.

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